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Sheitla D. Modore2 years agoTransformers, the first retina-scorching instalment of the muscled-up robot wars franchise, noisily proved that road haulage can be sexy.
Overheated teenagers, feverish at a gimpse of Megan Fox's cleavage, needed dousing in engine coolant, while fanboys of the convertible toys came over all unnecessary when confronted with their childhood heroes and villains made writhing aluminium and steel.
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This sequel basically takes all the successful components of the first film - great warring machines, Shia LeBeouf's indomitable teen, access-all-areas to US military hardware and, yes, Fox's breasts - and delivers even more bangs (and boobs) for your bucks.
A particularly rum Decepticon - The Fallen - is planning world domination and seeking his missing trusted lieutenant Megatron (at the bottom of the sea, actually) as well as his young human adversary Sam Witwicky (LaBeouf).
He's heading off to college...but not before he discovers a sliver of metal that triggers a transformation of his domestic appliances - Dysons turn into vicious, Gremlins- like mini-robots.
Unknown to him, his mind - already frazzled by the libidinous attentions of a college floozie (Home & Away's Isabel Lucas) - contains a line of critical code The Fallen needs to lead him to a Doomsday machine.
OK, it's daft. But not half as daft as an articulated lorry rearing up onto its rear wheels to take out a swooping UFO. Seeing has to be believing in these movies...and the Transformer series provide a visually metallic feast for the eyes.
A stunning opening sequence in Shanghai where the decent Autobot Optimus Prime (hurrah!) takes out a rogue Decepticon mono-cycle (boo!) packs more action into fifteen minutes than most films manage in two hours.
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And the action keeps coming thick and fast, from a graphic Pearl Harbour scene where an aircraft carrier slips under the waves to a find shoot-out at the Pyramids which is like being trapped in a sandpit with an artillery regiment.
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This thunderously noisy celebration of the Hasbro toy ticks all the right boxes with the fanboys...the rest of us might suffer metal fatigue.